To Teach A Gentleman Read online

“That’s it. Now we’re going to walk.”

  As Cameron pulled the lead, he clicked his tongue and the mare moved forward. Excitement welled up within her. Keeping her seat through the bumping was difficult, but she was managing. It was glorious.

  When they returned to the stables half an hour later, she was feeling marvelous. This truly was a dream come true. It was hard to believe how swiftly her life had gone from trying to perfection.

  “What are you smiling about?” Christopher’s raspy voice struck her all the way to her toes.

  “Did you see? I can ride a horse now.”

  He laughed. “I sure did. I take it you enjoyed your ride?”

  “Oh, yes.” When the groom pulled her mare to a halt, she waited for him to bring the stairs, but Christopher walked up.

  “Allow me.” He closed his hands around her waist and pulled her from the mount, then set her down, his hands lingering at her waist.

  “Thank you,” she breathed, wishing he would kiss her, but he didn’t. Instead, he moved back and placed her arm on his.

  “Would you care to take a walk?”

  She nodded and allowed him to lead her toward the garden. Since they’ve arrived yesterday morning, he‘d treated her with a formality she hadn’t previously expected from him. She wasn’t sure if it was his way of showing deference to her elevated station in life due to their marriage or if this was his normal behavior when at his manor. Regardless, she preferred the London version of him much better, as this one had less passion. Except at night.

  When he’d joined her in bed, he had been the same man who had taken her every night of their marriage and nothing of the proper gentleman she had learned he could be during their travel to the estate, and who he continued to be during the day. The sudden change would take time to accustom herself to.

  “So, my lady, how do you like the manor? We haven’t had many opportunities to speak on it.”

  “Your property is quite grand, Lord Andel,” she replied, emphasizing his title. If he wanted formality, she would give it to him.

  The corners of his mouth curled, but he had no other outward sign that he’d noticed. “I’m glad you approve. Is there anything you would like to have changed?”

  “Changed?” Confused, she stopped walking and faced him. “What do you mean?”

  “You know, all those little things a woman likes to leave her touch on. The carpets, bedclothes, draperies, and such.”

  She gave him a small smile, touched that he would worry after her comfort. “Everything you’ve done here is lovely. Your mother or late wife or whoever made the selections did an excellent job.”

  The look he gave her was curious, as if he’d never seen her before. She put her hands on his chest and slowly ran them up to his neck. To her surprise, he didn’t move. In her opinion, it was time for him to bring the passionate Christopher back.

  Not wanting to move too swiftly, she lightly touched her mouth to his. She kissed him gently, and he allowed her to set the pace. The warmth of his hand touched her cheek, but she kept to her plan of a slow seduction. So much of their time was fast. Now, she craved something different.

  However, just as it always did, desire ran through her body, demanding more. She forced it down, not wanting to end this sweet moment. However, before matters could get out of hand, she pulled back. This moment wasn’t about desire. It was about something else.

  When she opened her eyes and peered up at him, she saw wonder in his eyes. The sight of it brought her such hope. Unfortunately, in one instant, it was gone. His shock was quickly followed by a look of sheer horror.

  “Christopher?” she said, unsure of what she’d done.

  He cleared his throat and his expression. “Please, excuse me. I forgot I had some important matters I should have attended to.”

  Without waiting for her reply, he turned and left her standing there, alone and confused. Had she been wrong to kiss him? He hadn’t pulled away, and he had kissed her back, so she couldn’t understand the problem.

  By that night, she had resolved herself to ask him. He had sent word that she should dine without him as he was too busy with the estate matters. At the time, she’d been hurt by his withdrawal, but now she was plain angry. How dare he ignore her the entire day for something as small as a kiss? They were married, for goodness sake. Honestly, she realized her father’s punishments were preferable. After all, they ended swiftly.

  “Is something amiss, my lady?” The maid’s voice was gentle as she took down and brushed Genevieve’s hair.

  Caught off guard, Genevieve cleared her throat. “I am well. Why do you ask?”

  “Your hair is particularly difficult today, and you haven’t so much as winced.”

  Genevieve forced a smile. “I suppose I’m lost in my thoughts. Tell me, have you worked here long.”

  The woman, Rachel, if she remembered correctly, gave a proud grin. “A good ten years. I had the privilege of serving the countess before you as well.”

  Curiosity took over and Genevieve spun around to face Rachel. “Truly? What was she like?”

  “You would have enjoyed knowing her. Everyone did. She always had a quick smile and helped anyone she encountered. I’d venture to say she was the friendliest person I’d ever met.”

  Genevieve swallowed. The exact opposite of her. In her boredom today, she’d visited the portrait gallery and saw a picture of Christopher’s previous wife. They were opposites in looks as well. Had her husband come home only to realize he had made a mistake? Depression settled upon her shoulders like a soaking wet cloak.

  “She sounds wonderful,” Genevieve intoned. “I can’t imagine how the earl must have felt when he lost her.”

  With the click of her tongue, Rachel spun Genevieve around and began working on her hair again. “It was a very difficult time. Took his lordship far too many years to heal. But, now you’re here, and I can see his heart is on the mend.”

  The only word Genevieve heard was years. So much about his decisions made sense now. Even his questions about the designs of the manor. She felt ill. He’d been concerned she would want to change what his wife had done. How could she compete with a long-lost love? She couldn’t. The thoughts followed her to bed where she’d tossed and turned. The fact that this was the first night Christopher didn’t join her hadn’t gone unnoticed.

  ~ ~ ~

  “I can finish this up for you if you would prefer, my lord.”

  Christopher glared at his steward. “Are you trying to insinuate that I’m not capable of handling the matters of my estate?”

  The color drained from Allen’s face. “Oh no, of course not. You simply seem . . . distracted. I thought if you had somewhere you would prefer to be, I would have no trouble finishing everything here.”

  Irritated with himself, Christopher raked a hand through his hair, then shot to his feet and paced the room. He knew he should leave and let the man handle the business as he wasn’t in the correct state of mind, but he had nowhere else to go in order to escape. Yesterday had been a mistake, and he didn’t want to be tempted to go to his wife again.

  “I have been a part of running this estate since I was fifteen. I don’t intend to stop now.”

  “Of course.” Allen put his head down and Christopher regretted his harsh tone.

  Grumbling, Christopher sat back in his chair. A large part of his problem was the lack of a solution. If Jacques, or even Philip, had been available, they would no doubt have some sort of advice for him, but on his own, he had nothing. Except an overwhelming need to run.

  “May I ask you something of a personal nature?” Christopher eyed his steward, hating to be left with no other options.

  The man took off his glasses and set them down next to his pen. “We’ve known each other for a long time, so I’d welcome it.”
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  Christopher let out a sigh. “Do you love your wife?”

  “That is certainly an unusual question. May I ask you why you want to know?”

  The burden of what he knew weighed heavy, and Christopher was desperate to lighten the load. Over the years, he’d learned Allen was trustworthy and not one prone to gossip. He would be the logical choice to talk to.

  “Yesterday I had a brief conversation with my wife and something happened.” Christopher stopped, clearly remembering the perfect moment that he shared with Genny. “In that moment, I realized I loved her.”

  “I see. That is a fine predicament. To answer your question, I am fond of my wife, but I don’t love her. Once you cross that line, you have given her too much power over you. You didn’t tell her, did you?”

  Shaking his head, Christopher focused on the spot across the room, but he didn’t really see it. He had wanted to tell her. It had been on the tip of his tongue, but he’d held back. Instead, he’d run from her. He hoped keeping his distance would dull his feelings, but it hadn’t. Now, he was only more desperate to see her. To be with her.

  “Don’t tell her,” Allen continued. “The second she realizes how you feel, she will use it against you. All women do.”

  “What am I supposed to do, then?” The question fell from his mouth, but he knew Allen to have spoken the truth. He couldn’t tell her how he felt. If she knew, that would only make matters worse for him. No. He would suffer in silence.

  “I’m sorry, my lord.” The pity in the man’s voice was unmistakable. “As your marriage is new, it’s possible you simply feel lust. Give it time to fade.”

  Picturing Genny in his mind, Christopher knew that to be false. Not only did he truly love her, but this feeling was lasting. He’d never felt like this about anyone before, not even Leslie. And, that’s what scared him the most.

  If he could barely survive losing a woman he didn’t love, how could he handle losing Genny? He couldn’t. If anything were to happen to her, he’d be devastated. It wouldn’t be something he would be capable of living through. The question still remained of how to handle her as he couldn’t avoid her forever.

  When he sat across from Genny at dinner later that night, he discovered the secret to surviving marriage to her. Their interactions needed to be kept to a strict formality. Seeing the proof of her lack of feeling for him helped to keep his under control. It was at tender moments where she treated him as if she loved him that made his life difficult, for he didn’t know how to handle that.

  Considering how well their interactions had gone through the meal, he joined her in the drawing room to end the evening. As he drank his port, the companionable silence gave him such hope. Perhaps he could do this.

  “Isn’t this nice?” he remarked with a contented sigh.

  “What? The silence?” Her tone sounded appalled. “Have I done something wrong, my lord?”

  He looked at her and saw anger etched in her every feature. “No. Why do you ask?”

  “It’s because our relationship has changed so swiftly, I don’t know what else to believe. We’ve gone from friends to husband and wife and now to impartial strangers in a matter of days. There is no reason other than to believe I have caused it.”

  The sorrow in her voice tugged at his heart. “You have done nothing wrong. This is simply the way of things.”

  She glared at him. “If this is normal, then what have the previous few days been? Your way of toying with me? To keep me off guard?”

  “Of course not. As you well know, I need an heir. At twenty-eight, I’m certainly not in a position to squander any time.”

  Her eyes widened and her perfect lips fell open. “I see.”

  He wished he could take it back. The sight of her pain destroyed him. But, it was better this way. She didn’t love him, and he shouldn’t love her. Since the moment he’d seen her in that damned classroom at the House of Reform, he’d allowed other parts of his body to make the decisions. It was time to right that wrong.

  “I’m glad to hear it. Now, we can get past this discomfort, and get back to living a comfortable life.” The words barely made it through his thick throat.

  “As acquaintances,” she added. “Since I am with child.”

  Hearing those words from her lips, he froze. She couldn’t possibly know yet. “You sound so certain. I’d wager to say it’s too soon to tell.”

  Her brow wrinkled. “From your comment, I assumed you knew something I did not. So, why stop trying now if we don’t know?”

  A need that he didn’t want to feel filled his body at her words. She wanted him. That thought was a heady feeling. However, her lack of reaction from his dispassionate responses stabbed at him. A large part of him wanted her to want more from him. To want his love.

  “It would be prudent to give it time. We must see if you have conceived a child. If you have not, then we shall begin again.”

  She bit her lip and nodded slowly. His gaze zeroed in on her mouth. Bloody hell, he wanted to kiss that mouth. It would be so simple to justify having her again tonight. From her response, he imagined she wouldn’t complain.

  “Well, you know better than I. My mother made sure I was well-versed in French and the inner workings of a household, but she didn’t see fit to educate me in regard to marriage and children.”

  “That’s probably for the best as I am not fond of her methods in any case. For your further education, you have me to rely on.”

  One delicate eyebrow rose as she studied him. “Do I? I’m sorry, my lord, but it seems you are much too busy for such matters. It may be best for me to simply continue as I have.”

  He let out a breath. Clearly, she was angry, but he didn’t feel inclined to alleviate that fact. It was better this way. If she was not angry with him, it would only make slipping into her room all that much easier. No. He would keep her mad.

  “Perhaps, you are right. I will handle matters as they arise.”

  She stood abruptly. “Please excuse me, Lord Andel. I’m suddenly feeling ill and will retire for the night.”

  As she marched away, he called after her. “Sorry to hear it. I hope you feel better soon.”

  Her shoulders straightened, but she didn’t respond. He hated having to do this, but he knew it was for the best. He simply hoped very soon they would fall into a comfortable pattern, and they could move past this awkwardness.

  ~ ~ ~

  Genevieve smiled as the wind whipped at her face. Crouching lower against her mare, she hoped to gain a little speed. It was a glorious feeling. Over the past fortnight, she’d spent more time on the back of a horse named Gemini than she had in the manor. Christopher hadn’t seemed to notice.

  At first, she’d shed a lot of tears, but each day bearing his indifference had become easier, well, at least when she had Gemini as a distraction. The evenings and nights were far harder. Especially since she’d discovered the reason why her heart felt as though it were being ripped from her chest every time he looked at her with his emotionless expression.

  She didn’t know when it had occurred, but somewhere along the way, she had fallen in love with Christopher. The revelation would have brought her such joy, and she would have happily shared it with him had he not been treating her as if she meant less than the rugs he walked on. At least they had a purpose.

  “That was wonderful, my lady,” Cameron praised, then, to her surprise, he reached out and pulled her from her mare. “You have improved so much that I daresay you don’t even need me anymore.”

  She laughed and moved away as he took hold of Gemini’s reins, still discomforted by his unexpected touch. The groom seemed to think nothing of it, and she wondered if she was simply overreacting. Perhaps it was a common thing to help a lady off her mount. After all, Christopher had done the same thing without a second thought, and he
seemed averse to touching her in any form.

  Following Cameron while he took care of Gemini, she tried to put it from her mind. “Do you truly believe I will be able to ride without any help? I would dearly love to be able to take to the trails on my own.”

  He paused in his work to grin at her. “Of course. I would believe you to be capable now, but the earl would have my neck if anything were to happen to you.”

  Rolling her eyes, she blew out a disbelieving breath. “You exaggerate. Lord Andel is largely unaware of my activities. You have no need to worry in my regard. I understand you kept a close watch over the previous countess’s routine, but that’s not necessary with mine.”

  “You’re wrong.” Cameron ran a hand over the back of his neck. “The last Lady Andel was very fond of riding. She went on daily rides, and I was never instructed to join her or do anything other than hand her a mare. You, however, I’m not allowed to let leave my sight.”

  A prickle of unease moved over her skin. “It’s because I’m inexperienced.”

  The excuse glided from her tongue, but she didn’t believe it, and from the look on Cameron’s face, neither did he. Panic rushed up her throat. What reason would Christopher have to restrict her movements? Did he believe she would leave him? What was he planning to do to her that would make her want to run away from him?

  “You can say what you will, but I will believe what I wish.” Cameron winked at her, but she didn’t understand why.

  “What do you think will—”

  “The two of you seem to be enjoying yourself today.” The sound of Christopher’s steely voice raced heat up her skin and she froze.

  “Yes, my lord.” Cameron’s grin widened. “Her ladyship has made great improvements. She rides like a natural.”

  “Is that so?”

  Genevieve winced, hearing the anger in his voice. Knowing she had no choice, she slowly turned to look at her husband, keeping her face a mask of indifference. It was hard to witness how little he cared for her while she felt so much, but she bit back the pain as she’d done for most of her life.