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To Teach A Gentleman Page 21
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Page 21
He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry. What did you say about horses?”
With a light laugh, Marianne batted at his arm. “I suspected I had lost your interest somewhere. That is all right, Christopher. As an earl, you have too many duties to occupy your mind without our mundane chatter interfering. It was of no consequence.”
Glancing at Genny, she made no indication of whether she agreed or disagreed.
“That being the case, you will understand if I excuse myself to prepare for bed.” He attempted to keep his voice neutral.
“Of course.” Marianne smiled. “We only want what is best for you.”
He stood. “Thank you. Genevieve, please join me.”
Not that he had expected otherwise, but the reluctance in her step bothered him more than he cared to admit. As soon as they offered their parting to Marianne, he led her to the bedchamber. While he closed the door, she stood in the middle of her room completely motionless.
“What is going on?” he demanded, desperate to know why she would give up something she loved so much.
“I don’t know what you mean, my lord.”
The formality in her words and tone felt like a punch in the stomach, and he had to fight in order to not react. “Have you stopped your riding lessons?”
She nodded.
“Why?”
“My ability has improved beyond needing an instructor.”
“Will you at least look at me?” Frustration seeped into his words and she slowly lifted her eyes to his. “Why have you stopped riding?”
Although it was obvious she wanted to look away, she maintained eye contact with him. “My time has been otherwise engaged.” Her monotone voice gave nothing away.
“By your choice or someone else’s?” The urge to shake her overwhelmed him. “I want to know the truth, damn it.”
She winced and again her gaze fixed on the floor. “My own.”
Pushed beyond his limit, he spun around and left the room.
After a fitful night spent wondering where he’d gone wrong, he determined to fix this problem. The main trouble was, he didn’t know how, but at least he knew where to start. After sending a maid to collect Cameron, he paced his study, anxious to end this torment immediately.
“My lord, you wished to see me?” Cameron wrung his hat in his hands as he stood in the doorway.
“Yes. Come in and close the door.” Once the man complied, Christopher held his arm out to indicate the chair before his desk. “Please, sit.”
“Have I done something wrong?”
Shaking his head, Christopher settled in his own chair. “Not at all. I’m just looking for information.”
The man’s back straightened. “What makes you believe I know anything? The countess has canceled all further lessons.”
Seeing sweat beading on Cameron’s forehead, Christopher knew there was more to the story. “I’m guessing you know why. Now, when I decided to allow you to maintain your position, you promised to keep me informed of my wife’s struggles, however, in recent days, you’ve been silent.”
Clearly agitated, Cameron wiped his hand over his jaw as he shifted in his chair. “She forbid me to talk about it.”
“Is that so? And, you believe her order is more significant than mine? Although I appreciate your loyalty to my wife, you have a job to do and a responsibility to me. Now, I will ask you, do you have anything useful to tell me?”
The man cleared his throat, still appearing uncomfortable. “The lady feels that you prefer the changes, so she doesn’t want you to know she’s not pleased with them.”
“Changes? What are you talking about?”
Cameron closed his eyes and sagged his shoulders. “She will surely kill me for this. My lord, I understand you loved your previous wife, the entire staff knows how you felt about her, so I believe that knowledge has added pressure. However, I believe Lady Wrightman is doing her best to turn the countess into her daughter.”
Shocked, Christopher’s mouth fell open. “Lady Wrightman can’t be trying to change Lady Andel like that. I can’t fathom why she would want to do that.”
“If Lady Andel has it right, it’s for you. To ease your frustration and fill the void left when the previous countess passed away.”
Head reeling, Christopher sat back into his chair. How could this have happened? He was no longer shocked that Genny had withdrawn from him. She believed he loved another woman and wanted her to become someone else for him. The thought was sickening.
Worse yet, Marianne was the one who was doing this. She may have his interests at heart, but what of Genny’s? His life was not valued over hers. In truth, it was the opposite. He would gladly sacrifice himself for her happiness. Over these past weeks, she had done that for him. It was time for him to return the favor.
His next step was clear. There was no return. He knew it would wreck him, but he had no choice. He was losing Genny and that price was far too high.
~ ~ ~
“I, for one, thought you played it perfectly fine last night. I really can’t say what Christopher didn’t like about the piece.” Marianne tapped a finger against her cheek.
“I can’t say, my lady.” Genevieve sadly nodded in acknowledgment of Marianne’s statement. Last night had been difficult. She had worked rather hard on a few pieces, and Christopher hadn’t seemed too pleased by the one she had played, and adamant to not have to hear another. Then, there was his anger.
With a long sigh, Marianne touched her forehead. “Leslie used to play for him each evening. She told me how much he enjoyed it. Perhaps he didn’t like my selection. I will simply choose another for you to work on.”
The realization of what had occurred last night struck her, and she froze. A stone settled in the pit of her stomach. This was bad. All their efforts were for nothing. As she’d begun to notice, everything they’d done had only worsened her relationship with Christopher.
“Oh, no.” Genevieve wore at a ruffle on her skirt. “I just realized what it is about the piece that upset him. Everything we’ve been doing has been the exact thing that Leslie had done.”
The viscountess laughed. “Of course, my dear. He loved her dearly. We’re only trying to bring that comfort back to him. In time, he’ll learn to feel something similar for you.”
Genevieve shook her head. “He doesn’t want me to play for him. The reminders must be too painful. All we are doing is making him realize what he lost. That’s why he was so angry with me last night.”
Realizing what she had said, she clamped her hand over her mouth. She hadn’t meant to give so much away. It was not Marianne’s concern.
“Heavens! What happened?”
“Nothing. He was only angry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“On the contrary. Now, we have to devise a different plan of attack. We certainly don’t want the man distressed in his own home. The poor dear. It was likely he was pining over my daughter the entire evening while we were blissfully unaware.”
The thought made Genevieve hurt for him, but it also stabbed pain right into her chest. She didn’t want to be jealous of a woman who was long past, but how could she not? Leslie had been his perfect match, and she was simply a convenient replacement.
The arrival of the butler saved her from having to respond. “Lady Wrightman, Lord Andel is requesting your presence in his study.”
“Thank you.” Marianne stood, then she turned to Genevieve. “We shall talk on this later. Don’t fret. We can come up with something to make him happy.”
After nodding to the lady, Genevieve was left alone. Part of her wanted to escape to the stables for a ride, but she knew what the viscountess would say when she returned. And, she was in no mood to fight with the pianoforte. The instrument and her didn’t have a pleasant relationship. It h
ad taken countless hours to get down that one piece, and she refused to learn another if she could help it.
Instead, she sat on the sofa looking out over the room and contemplating her situation. Honestly, she knew she didn’t need to have a solution. When Marianne returned, she would likely be a whirlwind of ideas that Genevieve would be forced to acquiesce to. So, she sat, awaiting her next instructions from Marianne.
“May I join you?”
The sound of her husband’s voice made her jump. “Of course, my lord.”
“It’s Christopher. You seem to have forgotten. I’m done with the formality and titles when we’re alone.” He paused as he swallowed. “I’m ready for the old Genny to return to me.”
She tensed. That was definitely not going to happen. Marianne would never approve, but she couldn’t exactly tell him that. She licked her lips.
“I thought you enjoyed the use of titles.” She kept her tone light as she watched him close the door and cautiously walked toward her.
“I mistakenly believed it would help. I was wrong.” He sat in the chair across from her, looking every bit as uncomfortable as she felt. “Now, it’s past time for you and I to have a conversation about my previous wife, Leslie Valentine.”
Knowing she couldn’t handle him listing everything she lacked in comparison to the perfect woman, Genevieve straightened her back. “There is no need. I understand very clearly. Everyone knows how perfect she was and how much you loved her. I simply need to try harder.”
Christopher shook his head. “Stop it right there. There is no more trying. No more changing. I didn’t marry you so you could transform into someone else, and I won’t stand for it. In addition, I’ve only ever truly loved one woman in my lifetime, and Leslie wasn’t her.”
Stunned, Genevieve stared at him as waves of shock rocked her body. There would be another woman she’d have to fight against for her husband? The thought made her ill. She’d experienced enough trouble against a deceased woman, she could only imagine the trouble of contending with one who could physically make a presence.
“Why are you telling me this?” Her voice came out barely above a whisper.
“Because I can see what’s happening. I’m losing you, and I won’t stand for it any longer. That woman I love . . . It’s you, Genevieve. I love you.”
Unable to process such a fantastical notion, Genevieve stared at him with her body completely frozen. It wasn’t possible. Could he honestly love her? The sincerity in his eyes willed her to believe him. To accept his claim as true, but how could she?
“That’s impossible,” she responded at last. “You can’t love me.”
He winced, then moved to kneel before her, taking her cold hand in his. “I know my behavior as of late hasn’t been what it should be. You have to forgive me. This is a new feeling for me, and one I’m not equipped to handle. I’ve tried to push you away but still . . . Je t'aime.”
The words spoken in French affected her more than anything else could, and her body slowly came to life as disbelieving joy filled her. She’d never taught him those words, so he had gone out on his own to learn them. For her. That, in-and-of-itself, was enough proof to show her his true feelings. She didn’t want to move or speak for fear that this was all a dream.
“Please say something.” His thumb rubbed across her hand as if he were nervous. “I know you don’t feel the same, and that’s not why I’m telling you. I just thought you should know and understand that I don’t want to lose you.”
She couldn’t contain her smile any longer as the happiness moved through her body. “Then, as long as we are making confessions, I have one to make to you as well. Je t'aime.”
His eyes widened. “Truly? You aren’t simply telling me what you believe I want to hear?”
Shaking her head, she pulled her hands free of his and wrapped them around his neck. “I’m afraid not. I love you, and have for quite some time. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t think you wanted me to feel such things for you.”
He let out a guttural growl and then launched off the floor, pressing her back along the seat of the sofa as he captured her lips. Surprised and excited by his reaction, she clung to him as she kissed him back. This was the Christopher she’d fallen in love with, and the one she’d dearly missed.
When his roaming hands began to pull up her skirts, she stopped him and drew back. “We can’t. Not here. What if Marianne were to walk in? A closed door won’t deter her.”
Unperturbed by her outbreak, he nuzzled her neck, running his tongue along her sensitive flesh. “You don’t need to worry about her.”
“Why not?” she breathed, quickly becoming lost in the sensations.
He drew his head back to give her a look of exasperation. “Do you truly want to talk about this now?”
She nodded. “I think we must.”
With a long sigh, he dropped his head until their foreheads met. “I sent her home. Anyone who causes harm to my wife—unintentional or not—is not welcome in my house.”
If his learning French for her hadn’t proved his love, that one action did. Grabbing his face between her hands, she pulled his mouth back down to hers. She’d gone too long without him, and she was done with the delay.
As her husband proceeded to take her beyond the heights of bliss, she put everything but the two of them from her mind. She knew with Christopher she finally had found her place in life. The moment was perfect and something she would cherish forever.
She had gone to the House of Reform to teach him French, but in the end it had been her who needed to learn. Love was the greatest lesson. And, Christopher the best teacher.
Epilogue
The cool wind cut across Christopher’s face, but it did nothing to ease his mind. Every fiber of his being centered on the woman riding the mare behind him. The past month with her had truly been a gift, but something had happened recently, and she was withdrawing again. He truly hoped taking her on this ride would bring her back to him again.
As soon as they arrived at an ideal place, he helped her dismount. She didn’t look well and instead of him having an opportunity to hold her, she pushed away from him and rushed into the bushes. A cold sweat broke out across his forehead at the sound of her retching.
He thought she’d been withdrawing from him again, but the truth hit him so hard he nearly fell to his knees at the pain. The illness that had befallen Leslie had begun the same way. Genny wasn’t withdrawing from him, she was ill.
Not wanting to add to her discomfort, he quickly saw to the horses and set out the picnic blanket he’d brought. Considering her condition, he didn’t believe she would welcome the snacks he’d collected from the kitchen, so he left them packed away. All the while, he felt numb inside. Had he been cursed to suffer the same fate twice?
When she emerged from the trees, clearly having gone to the stream to wash her face, her color had improved, but he knew the truth. Holding back the emotions desperate to escape was one of the most difficult things he’d ever done, but he would be strong for her. He wouldn’t allow her to hide away like Leslie had done.
“What’s all this?” She indicated the blanket. “And, why are you looking at me like that?”
He moved forward and took her hand, leading her to the blanket. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m well, thank you.” Her tight voice indicated her lie.
Once they had settled on the blanket, he pulled her to lean on him, her back to his chest. She let out a soft sound of contentment as she rested her head against him. This was how it should be. How they should be able to live out the next fifty years.
“Do you have any intention of telling me what’s going on?” He ran his hands up and down her arms to ease her. “And, before you deny it, I already know, and have no intention of allowing you to shut me out.”
She pushed herself up to turn around and look at him. “What are you talking about?”
Unable to handle the pain any longer, he knew it showed on his face. “You’re sick. This was how it began with Leslie, but we’ll see a doctor. A different one. Surely there have been developments in the years, and—”
With a hand over his mouth, she silenced him. “Oh, Christopher, I’ve already seen a doctor, and I certainly don’t have what Leslie did.”
She’d already seen a doctor? He wasn’t sure if that made it better or worse. Was she that concerned over it? After gently kissing her fingertips, he pulled her hand away from his lips.
“What is it, then?” He was almost afraid to find out.
“As I told you, I’m well. In truth, this is all your fault as I’m with child. Within months, you could likely have your heir.”
Relief flooded him, and he let out the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. A child. A slow smile spread across his lips as joy filled him. He could hardly believe it. The proof of their love to come out as a perfect blend of the two of them.
“Are you certain? The doctor verified that you are in good health and we’re having a child?” In awe, he dropped his hand to touch her flat stomach.
She laughed. “Yes to both. You can’t escape me so easily.”
“I never want to be rid of you.” His gravelly voice betrayed his emotion. “I love you too much.”
“And, I love you.”
With her mesmerizing lips smiling at him, he couldn’t take it any longer. Clasping her around the waist, he dropped back to the ground as he pulled her on top of him. Moving one hand to the back of her neck, he drew her down for a searing kiss. In that moment, he used his actions to communicate how much she meant to him. A wife he loved dearly and a child on the way. He couldn’t have asked for more.
When he’d found her, his only desire had been to have the business of marriage behind him so he could get back to his life. However, she had enriched that life and had given him so much more than a lesson in French.